Goodnight Kiss A “Thing of the Past”

The goodnight kiss is a thing of the past and most of us sleep with our backs turned to our partner, according to a new study.

Eight in ten couples no longer kiss before nodding off.

The research into our nocturnal habits suggests romance is now dead in British bedrooms.

Indeed, a quarter of lovers say they cannot bear their partner touching them while they are sleeping.

The sleep behaviour study found that 54 per cent of Brits choose to turn away and sleep with their back to their lover in a bid to get a good night’s sleep.

And it isn’t just cuddling that’s off the agenda as 90 per cent of couples don’t utter the three important words ‘I love you’ before turning out the lights.

And eight in ten couples no longer kiss before nodding off.

The study of 2,000 couples by hotel chain Travelodge revealed the most common sleeping positions are those in which we do not face each other.

Relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet has investigated what Britons’ sleeping positions says about their relationship.

She says that during sleep, body language cannot be faked so your sleeping position can reveal a lot about your relationship.

The most popular sleeping position for couples is with both in the fetal position, back to back.

Ms Sweet says the fetal position, sleeping on your side with head and shoulders curled in and knees pulled up, shows innocence and trust.

However this distant way of sleeping is becoming more common, while less than a fifth of couples go to sleep ‘spooning’ each other.

The ‘heroic, romantic movie scene sleeping position’, with the man lying on his back facing up and the woman’s head cradled in the man’s chest or shoulder, is just a position for the camera.

In reality, a mere 1 per cent of British adults actually sleep like the Hollywood couples in romantic chick flicks.

Ms Sweet, said: “Inevitably, once the first flush of lust wears off, with couples naked and entwined, it is more likely the need for a good night’s sleep predominates, so sleeping back to back becomes a favourable position in bed.”

“Couples fall into habitual ways of sleeping together that suits their personalities and personal preferences.

“These are negotiated at the outset, so if something changes in how they sleep together, this can reflect a change in their relationship and cause concern for the other partner.

“Individual psychological states also affect how we sleep and the positions we sleep in, so if we are stressed we may be irritable, and not want to snuggle up with our partner.

“Arguments often lead to sleeping wide apart, as people feel loathe to touch.

“Women’s temperatures rise with menstruation, so they may want to sleep less entwined during their ‘time of the month’.”

Further research also highlighted a trend for sleeping apart. Nowadays one in 10 couples admit to sleeping separately from their partner in the quest for a good night’s sleep.

Alarmingly a quarter of couples aged 35 to 44 spend time sleeping in separate beds.

The sleep behaviour report also found that one in four couples repeatedly argue in bed because one keeps the other awake.

The survey also revealed that more than half of us feel our sex life would be better if we ‘cuddled-up’ more.

Men are especially keen, with more than two thirds of men (67 per cent) saying they want more cuddles and three in then get annoyed if their partner doesn’t cuddle them in bed.

Shakila Ahmed, Travelodge spokeswoman, said: “Our sleep behaviour study has revealed a lot about our relationships.

“It’s interesting to see that as a nation we’re not snuggling up, and in some cases, choosing to sleep in separate beds.

“It’s especially sad we’re no longer saying ‘I love you’.

“As a nation I think it’s time we start puckering up and bring back the traditional bedtime kiss before nodding off.”

List of the most popular sleeping positions adopted by Brits and Corinne Sweet’s explanation of what each positions means:

Liberty: Back to back but not touching (33 per cent) This couple feels connected whilst independent enough to sleep separately. They are used to each other and accept each other’s sleeping habits.

Cherish: Back to back but touching (21 per cent) This couple are comfortable, intimate and relaxed with each other. A popular position in a new relationship.

Spoons: Male spoons with the female on the inside (15 per cent) This is a traditional position, in which the male takes the lead and protects his lover. Couples sleep side-by-side each curled up with each other in the fetal position. Traditional spooning is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship or marriage. It shows both a strong sexuality and feeling of security in the relationship.

Pillow talk: Face to face (8 per cent) This position represents an intimate need for one-to-one contact and conversation in bed.

Lovers Knot: Face to face, legs intertwined for 10 minutes then couples separate to sleep (9 per cent) This position demonstrates a loving independence, it’s a sign of intimacy, love and sexual activity – even though the couple separate and sleep apart.

Spoons – Female: Spoons with the female on the outside (6 per cent) In this position the female takes the lead and protects her man while he is sleeping.

The Lovers: Face to face with legs intertwined all night (5 per cent) This is love’s young dream position where you cannot bear to be separated as each moment together counts. A position for the born romantics.

The Romantic: Woman lying with head and arm on man’s chest (1 per cent) This is the popular Hollywood movie bed scene position. An intimate pose much favoured in a new relationship or after love making. It represents new / rekindled love.

Superwoman: Woman lying in star fish position with man hanging off the bed (1 per cent) The woman rules the bed in this position, she likes her space and the man takes a secondary role and lets her take it.

Superman: Man lying in star fish position with woman hanging off the bed (1 per cent) In this position the male is king of the bed, he likes to have his way and the female is happy to oblige.

Source: Published in the Telegraph Oct 14, 2012
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/9607602/Goodnight-kiss-is-a-thing-of-the-past.html